contrast of peach colored houses against blue sky trafficy on renfrew
your friends are getting old and fat. settling down with their equivalents in girl/boy form. you should be embarrassed. what happen to duende, mental energy, sadness and the opposite (whatever), burning in the belly and…
hands day one
nearly vomit when alarm goes off. haven’t been up that early ever. when i’m coming home from partying i get in later. get to work, eat some food cause i prolly should. actually vomit, much to early for my tummy to be functioning.
the job is in a wealthy area, i look through a window at children eating organic cereal from whole foods while a skinny mum wipes down countertops with 7th generation spray.
upperclass sensibilities are a bit predictable. the heavily styled family; young hip healthy forward thinking slot. where is the energy, vitality, frenetic life? no shabby couches and corn-pops here, no peanut butter brown bags. no pushing little ones out the door without their vitamins cause someone is gonna be late for work and goddamn, the field trip money! don’t get paid till thursday can’t be helped.
i have to stop staring in windows and work harder because i’m not strong. i didn’t think much of the effect the withdrawal would have on my body other than the obvious. but 20 days mostly vertical, no working out, little eating, little sleep, and a mind full of wolves has left me in weak shape.
boss- oh, you have work pants, thats great. they carhartt?
me- uh no, acne. just styled with knee patches.
boss- your skin looks fine to me. and what about your keys?
i will always back an outside chance. i figure because of how i am- on the side, sort of, in more ways than one. on the edge, on the brink, the moment at the top of the inhale before the exhale an exhale before the inhale the pause, 6 fingered 4 toed, the stranger before the introduction, the…
NEWS and VIEWS iv.
One of these trips was made brighter by Bev’s bubbling presence. Bev and Betty, going up a stoney little path in the woods, examine hands. This little tree lives near Hope, and one day Betty and the tree were caught measuring each other to see which (or who) was taller. The tree lost by one needle-length.
[see page seven for pictures].
I’ve seen a million numbered doors on the horizon
Now which is the future you choosen before you gone dying
I’ll tell you about a secret I’ve been undermining
Every little lie in this world comes from dividing
Say you’re my lover
say you’re my homie
Tilt my chin back, slit my troath
Take a bath in my blood, get to know me
All out of my secrets
All my enemies are turning into my teachers